Holidays, sickness, family, laziness, they have all kept me away from BJJ for the last month or so. Tonight I went back and it was just like a homecoming. I was warmly greeted by my BJJ family. I realized how much I missed them and they let me know I was missed. It was great. I had a a interesting experiences in class that I can’t go without mentioning. It was a very eventful night.
I came face to face with my old nemesis claustrophobia. Mark, our instructor, was demonstrating what looked liked a reversed scarf hold. I was the dummy. I started to get claustrophobia. We weren’t moving. He was just explaining. I had a few minutes, which seemed like hours, to think about what I was feeling. I knew I wasn’t in danger and that Mark would quickly let go if I tapped. But there inside of me was the panic. It wouldn’t go away no matter how I reasoned with it. I felt irritated that it was so primal and that I couldn’t banish it with the obvious fact that I was in no immediate danger. I controlled it. I didn’t tap. What I learned in that short while was I will always have fear and I can master it. I had a internal battle and won. The war rages on.
Jiu-Jitsu is Life and Life is Jiu-Jitsu